You are bound to come up against many roadblocks. On the upside, you will have the advantage of peer pressure. Siblings can have a huge influence on each other – especially when it comes to toilet habits, so you’re already one step ahead!

However, it won’t be all sunshine and roses. You still will have some significant hurdles when potty training. Much advice is the same as with the individual child, but some applies specifically to multiples. Here are a few tips.

One potty chair won’t be enough. Training is stressful enough as it is without asking your multiples to share the potty. When a child has to go, it’s nearly impossible in the early stages to ask them to wait their turn. You could be taking steps back instead of forward.

Let each child have his or her own potty chair. Potty training is about the individual child, so have the chair represent them and give them a sense of ownership when they have their own piece of furniture that no one else can use.

Because establishing a routine is the best way to potty train your child, you may want to make it a fun game for your multiples. This will make it easier on you and make it a pleasant experience for them.

When you are trying to train multiples, don’t let them go diaper-less unless you have someone else there to watch them. You will likely find yourself doing little more than cleaning up accidents if you go it alone.

There is bound to be a bit of chaos in your house with toddler multiples, so it’s probably going to be a bit difficult for you to get them to notice their body’s signals that it’s time to use the potty. Let them bring toys or books into the bathroom with them when they need to sit on the potty and focus.

What if you have one child who is interested in potty training and another one who isn’t? This is where you need to be a little less enthusiastic about the process. When one child goes on the potty, DO give him or her praise, but dole it out and then move on.

Absolutely DO NOT make the other child feel inferior because his or her sibling is successfully using the potty. There is a certain amount of competition that naturally exists with multiples anyway. Don’t intensify that competitive spirit. They’ll go eventually, just be patient.

You may also want to stay away from treats for using the potty in this situation. Toddlers have a difficult time understanding the sharing process, so when one child gets something that the other one doesn’t, you may be faced with some pretty big temper tantrums and resistance.

You may also be faced with some regression issues with one of your children. Don’t push in this situation. Your child may be having some real emotional issues with the idea of separation from their diapers and each other. Until both are ready, step back and let your children lead the way.

Structure is very important – especially with multiples. We’re not just talking about potty time but all the time. Make potty time a daily ritual that is fun!

You may want to separate the kids as much as you can during training. Lessening the intensity that exists naturally between them will help all of you. Give them some one-on-one time and let them listen and focus better with your undivided attention.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you get too involved in the process, you may find your children resisting. When someone else is around to buffer the situation, you’re much more likely to have a slightly easier time.

Try not to get frustrated and angry at resistant kids. All you can do when one or the other resists is to back off. If you push them too much, their natural urge will be to resist and you will have more problems than if you just let it go for awhile. They’ll get it eventually.

Ultimately, to achieve peace, yours and your children’s, let them take the lead. If they want to go on the potty, fine. If they want to wear diapers, that is okay too. They have to work out their ambivalence and all a mom can do (and this is the hard part) is wait patiently until they do.

Girls are generally a bit easier to train than boys, but the funny part is that when you are training boys, there are many more tricks to getting them to successfully use the potty.

If advised by consulting physicians and specialists to toilet train the child, a great deal of patience and a longer time frame may be necessary. Many other skills accompany even simple routines for children with physical or mental impairments.

As a parent, you are the only one who knows your child’s abilities. You can gauge whether or not they are even near being able to grasp the thought or tasks involved in potty training.

Just like with all other children, you need to be sure that your child is fully able to understand his or her’s bodily functions and what to do with those feelings when they arise. You have to let your child dictate to you when the time is right.

Once you reach that point, use the same techniques we’ve outlined throughout this whole book. Just because your child has special needs doesn’t make them all that different from every other child. As you are well aware, potty training special needs children just requires a little adaptation.

You need to do a clear task analysis of each process that trainers and parents often take for granted. This may involve actually writing down every step taken in order to go to the toilet. The tasks might include some of the following:

• Recognizing when she/he has to go to the bathroom
• Waiting to eliminate
• Entering the bathroom
• Manipulating clothing closures
• Pulling pants down
• Sitting on the toilet
• Eliminating in the toilet
• Using paper correctly
• Pulling pants up
• Flushing toilet
• Washing hands
• Drying hands

You may notice that many of the signs outlined above are the same as any other child who is ready to begin potty training. Your special needs child is no different. You need to be aware of what to look for before taking on this difficult task and then start with the right attitude for both you and your child.

To see if your child is ready to learn toilet training, answer the following additional questions.

• Can the child follow simple directions? (“Come here.”)
• Can the child sit in a chair for five minutes?
• Can the child wait at least 1-1/2 hours between elimination times?

Recognizing the signs that your child is ready for the potty is the best way to know when it’s time to begin. You are no different than any other parent at this point in your child’s development. Sure they might a little older, but you still have to help your child travel this road with as little disruption and distraction as possible.

When you are focused on the job, they’ll be focused on the job too. That will make the job easier on both of you!

What about multiples? When you have twins or even (gasp!) triplets, the issue of potty training becomes even stickier. But in actuality, you are going to have an easier time than you might think.

Watch tilting toilet seats. Some seats have a tendency to fall quickly when put upright. If the seat tilts or must be supported by hand, change it. The seat must be stay up so it doesn’t fall down and strike a boy’s penis when his is urinating standing up.

If your toddler likes to unroll the toilet paper, try this. Before you put a new roll on the roller, squash the roll so that the cardboard roll inside is no longer round. This way, it will not unroll as fast. Also, little ones who are potty training will not get too much paper per tug on the roll.

The secret to potty training is a no pressure atmosphere where children believe they are in control and making the decisions. Parents and providers guide their decisions and make it fun.
Play potty while training a stuffed animal or doll. Use your child’s future underwear on the animal. Because the underwear is big, it will be easier for your child to teach pulling pants down and up.

Play house and pretend with your child. You be animal’s mommy. Feed the animal, make it run to the potty, pull pants down, sit, maybe read a book to it, praise it for trying/accomplishing, wipe, pull pants up, flush and wash hands. Play again.

Let your child be Mommy and take the animal through the steps with you offering corrections if needed. Listen carefully here to the words your child is using. Then, you can use those same words later while you are the real Mommy again! Repeat. Devoting time here with excessive repetition may bore you but provides great instruction for your child. Introduce some fun songs and dances here to make it even more fun!

When potty training, I always try to laugh which is sometimes very hard but at other times takes no effort at all.

Try using a doll that wets. That’s a tip that renowned psychologist Dr. Phil suggests. Dr. Phil says that using an anatomically correct doll that wets helps you to demonstrate for the child how to go potty.

You may want to start emptying poopy diapers into the toilet rather than just throwing it away. By doing this, you are showing your child that this is where the poop belongs and he or she will be less resistant to letting go of that during the toilet training process.

Remember that the emotional makeup of a human being is extremely complex. It’s not realistic to expect that just because a child is small in stature, he or she will have a small range of emotions. And handling all these strange feelings and sensations is doubly hard for a child because of his or her undeveloped wisdom and lack of information.

Watch for interference from others. Siblings can set a child off by playing on fears and expectations; friends or even teachers may say the wrong thing.

Have your child draw a picture of a bathroom. Ask for explanations of anything you don’t understand. You may get some clues about worries or fears the child has been repressing.

Seriously reconsider the use of pull-ups or diapers during this process. Throwing away the diapers can help make for effective potty training more than you can know. When you make a big production of it, your child will know that it’s time to let go of that part of their lives.

When you use pull-ups, it feels like wearing a diaper to your child. You, in a way, are giving them permission to use that pull-up as a diaper and wet in it. Your child will have to learn what it feels like to have wet pants. That way, they’ll learn.

Do not spend weeks and months see-sawing from diapers to pull-ups to underwear. This is so confusing to toddlers and it simply destroys their feelings of self-esteem. (It’s okay to use pull-ups at night for a few weeks while your toddler is working on their physical control, but do not use them during the day.)

If your child has been sitting on the potty for 5 minutes with no results, give it up. Try again at another time. Having them sit there that long is plenty of time to see whether or not they will be able to expel their waste. Keeping the child on the potty longer than that will just cause frustration and boredom!

An additional potty training tip is to make sure to put clothes on your child that are easy for your child to pull down or remove themselves. Even though those cute shorts may be easy for mom to put on her child, the shorts may just be too difficult for your toddler to pull down. Try to look at things as your toddler would: that’s the best potty training tip you can find.

When buying training pants, if you are choosing cotton, let your child pick out his/her favorite ones (Rugrats, Batman, Barbie etc.). Cotton training pants will let your child feel the wetness and will train faster. The downside is that they are messier!

Disposable training pants are easy for cleanup and on the go but it may take longer to train if your child does not feel the discomfort of wetness. If you buy cotton, buy more than one three pack. You will go through these quickly and you want to have plenty in the diaper bag and dresser.

Toilet training can get messy so be prepared and expect that there will be many mistakes. Your child is learning a very difficult skill. Clean up any accidents without anger or showing disgust. Do not make negative comments.

Make a big deal about using the last diaper or let your child help you throw out the diapers in the trash can. Shop together for new underwear! Dress your child in clothes that are easy to take on and off.

Do not punish your child by keeping him/her in wet or soiled diapers. This is counterproductive and will not teach your child to use the potty. Do not pressure or nag your child to use the potty. The harder you push, the harder he/she will resist! Only remind your child to use the potty when he/she is showing signs that he/she has to go.

Be prepared to spend a lot of time in the bathroom with your child!

Spring and summer are great times to toilet train! Let your child go without his/her diaper and watch them notice their own bodily functions. If they can see exactly what is coming from where, they’ll have a better idea of what they are supposed to do!

Make sure your child’s diet has plenty of fresh fruit, vegetables and juice.
We cannot stress this part strongly enough: DO NOT make your child sit on the toilet against his or her will.

Make sure your child’s wardrobe is adaptable to potty training. In other words, avoid overalls and shirts that snap in the crotch. Simple clothes are a must at this stage and children who are potty training need to be able to undress themselves.

Be sure all of your child’s caregivers follow the same routine you have established. Let them know what you’re doing and how your handling any issues you are encountering. Ask them to use those same techniques when your child is with them so your child won’t be confused.

Do not think that just because your child is in day care that toilet training is impossible to do. Studies have shown that as long as you are in constant contact with your day care provider regarding your procedures, you can succeed at potty training together!

When you keep them informed about what you are doing to help your child become toilet trained, they can much easier implement the same procedures while with them and reinforce everything that you have been focusing on!

Don’t get all caught up in the negative connotations that many adults have regarding the human body. Toilet training is a part of a life-long process of learning about the body and its functioning.

Adults’ attitudes toward genitals and the natural process of toilet training have an important influence on the child’s developing feelings about her or his body and taking responsibility for bodily needs.

Make certain the child has observed a parent or trusted adult using the toilet. Answer questions in a relaxed manner. Toilet training accomplished in a calm and positive way is an important support for life-long appreciation of human sexuality.

Young children feel pleasure when they urinate or have a bowel movement. They may want to play with their urine or feces. They also may want to examine their own or other children’s genitals when using the toilet.
This is normal experimental behavior. It is a good time to teach correct names for body parts and body functions. The goal is to teach children that all parts of the body are good, and body functions are natural.

Some of the best advice comes from people who have been there and done that.

Dole out the praise as often as you can – not just during potty training. But this book IS about potty training, so here are a few things to remember when giving positive reinforcement with your words.

Some people feel you shouldn’t make a HUGE deal out of using the potty, but when you’re trying to reinforce a positive behavior, it has to be up to you. We made a REALLY big deal every time Conner went on the potty. It worked for him.

Give physical reinforcement in the form of hugs while you’re giving out that praise. Clap and say words like “Good for you”, “What a big boy/girl”, “You went on the potty – YAY!” and such.

Don’t just congratulate your child for going on the potty; praise them when they stay dry too. Check his/her pants every hour or so and let him/her know how great it is that s/he’s stayed dry.

Some parents have created elaborate song and dance routines to let their child know how pleased they are. Kids love to be silly, and many adults like to be silly too. Use this time to explore your own inner child when potty training is occurring.

Praise for jobs well done should be second nature. It’s just too easy to see the “bad stuff” children do when in reality they’re doing a lot more “good stuff” then we give credit for. When it’s time to introduce the potty to your toddler, give it a sunny spin. Make it sound wonderful to be old enough to sit on the potty chair.

Accidents are going to happen. If your child has an accident, don’t make a big deal about it and don’t get angry. If you do this, it will chip away at their morale and could start making them feel like they really can’t do the job they’re expected to do.

If your child has an accident, just help them get cleaned up and forget about it. You may want to say something encouraging like, “It’s alright, and you’ll make it to the potty next time.”

Praise your child even if he or she just goes and sits on the potty but doesn’t go. This will likely occur early in the process, and is a positive behavior that should be acknowledged.

Another important part of potty training is teaching your child about good hygiene.

Rewards don’t have to be anything huge and amazing. Remember, you’re dealing with a little person here who thinks it great fun to spin around and around to get that dizzy feeling – they’re easily impressed – especially if you are with them.

Parents who’ve been through potty training successfully report using all sorts of different methods that work. Your reward system will have to fit your child’s personality and contain incentives that will be important to them.

We mentioned before placing a potty chart on your refrigerator or in your bathroom. When your child successfully goes on the potty, let them place a sticker on the chart. If they reach a certain amount of stickers, give them a small prize or a special trip.

Instead of a chart, make a picture of a road leading to a specific place ala the game “Candy Land”. The idea here is to make it down the road by going on the potty. When they get to their destination, a special treat is given. Involve your child in making this poster. It can be a really cute way to teach your child about staying on track while trying to reach a goal.

Of course, candy is a big winner when it comes to potty rewards. Little  Conner got M & M’s each time he would go and this seemed to work quite well. Other parents use Skittles, small size candy bars, gum, and suckers. It doesn’t really matter what you use as long as your child really desires it!

If you are unsure about what will work as an incentive, ask your child what s/he would like as a reward. They know what they like the best and if they want it bad enough, they’ll sure work hard to get it!

To illustrate how subjective rewards can be, I want to tell you what worked when potty training one little boy. When he was small, back in the early 90’s, his idol was Pee-Wee Herman (I know, I know!) He watched “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure’ and “Pee Wee’s Big Top” over and over again until his parents thought they would scream if thhey had to hear that guy’s laugh just one more time.

His grandmother was shopping the clearance aisle of a discount store when she spotted a talking Pee Wee Herman doll. Now this doll was a little disturbing looking, but very life-like and uttered Pee Wee’s famous catch phrases when you pulled the string on his back. The boy was enamored.

His parents let him have the doll to play with for just a day before they put him up on a shelf in the bathroom. They told him that when he went potty like a big boy, he could play with Pee Wee for a half hour. That was all he needed. Two days later, he was fully trained.

So Pee Wee taught him to “pee pee”. Sorry, I just couldn’t resist!!!
Gradually phase out the rewards as your child’s visits to the bathroom become routine. If you continue to use rewards once they have mastered the task, they’ll start to expect them and may go more often than they really need to.

Keep in mind that rewards don’t always work. As we’ve said before, every child is different and you have to find what works with yours!
Rewards are great, but the ultimate reward for a toddler can be your approval.

A routine will help in making your toddler more confident and comfortable during potty training. In fact, having your child on a schedule before potty training time can actually make the transition easier.

By the age of one, your toddler should be on a regular schedule of eating, sleeping, playing and having diaper changes. These regular diapering times will prepare your toddler for a regular potty schedule in the future. This doesn’t mean that you have to maintain a rigid schedule for years, but your toddler should know that he or she has a regular, natural pattern to each day. This sets your toddler up to succeed when the time is right for potty training.
Make frequent trips to the bathroom. You can’t force your child to urinate or produce a bowel movement, but you can encourage him to practice. Have your child sit on the potty for 2 to 4 minutes every hour or so. Schedule these sittings close to times your child usually has a bowel movement or urination, such as just after a meal, snack or nap. Remember that you cannot control when your child urinates or has a bowel movement.

You really need to know when it’s time to stop. Don’t expect performance at first. If your child can’t urinate or produce a bowel movement after 2 to 4 minutes, it’s time to try later. If your child protests strongly when you suggest s/he return to the potty, don’t insist. Such resistance may mean that it is not the right time to start training.

Let your child learn from you and those around him or her. Children are often interested in their family’s bathroom activities. It is sometimes helpful to let children watch parents, older brothers and sisters, trusted friends, and even relatives when they go to the bathroom. Seeing these people use the toilet makes children want to do the same.

Make sure your child is an active participant in getting himself or herself dressed and undressed. Let your child practice lowering and raising their underwear or training pants sometimes, or putting them on and taking them off.

As far as the bathroom is concerned, take steps to keep the door from closing or locking. To prevent children from locking themselves in the bathroom or closing the door on their fingers, put a towel over the top of the bathroom door. This will stop it from closing.

Potty training boys can be much easier than potty training girls. Have them try sitting on the toilet before making them stand. This will minimize sprays and dribbles on the walls and floors – not to mention all over the potty chair!
You should take steps also to respect your child’s feelings and privacy. Even though they are little people, they do have these feelings. Potty training focuses on the most personal and private parts of your child’s body so proceed in a dignified respectful manner. Some children need privacy and will not go if anyone is looking or is in the bathroom with them. Respect this.
Expect some fooling around by toddlers. For example, when they go through the phase of saying “no” to everything, their “no” does not always really mean “no.” In short, if you ask your toddler if s/he needs to go potty and are met with a resounding “no,” this response may sometimes have little to do with your question. This is all part of learning to read your child and becoming familiar with all forms of communication.

In the beginning phases, take your child to the bathroom every hour and then after meals, snacks, and sleep. The obstacle a lot of parents face is that they get into the habit of asking their child if they have to use the potty. Instead, try telling them and then take them. Initiating is often the last step in the process.

Remember that this is probably not going to be an overnight process. Be patient with your child and back off if it really doesn’t seem to be working.
We agree with experts that a reward system is almost necessary during this important time.

At some point your child will no longer have bowel movements during the night. They become a daytime process for most children. The more regular your child is, the easier it will be to start bowel-control training. Children often stop playing when they are having a BM. Some even hide in a favorite spot. Others just grunt or get red in the face. Saying, “I see you’re having a BM” helps a child identify what is occurring and associate those sensations with the process.

Constipation, if part of your child’s history, may actually delay toilet training for your child. This is not anything to be worried about, but just one more variable you can be sensitive to.

Explain to your child that you will be taking him or her to the toilet or the potty chair and that you expect the bowel movement to go there rather than in diapers. “This is what Mommy and Daddy do, what grown-ups do and now what you should do because you’re getting so big and grown up” is the kind of language to use.

Give advance notice as to when this procedure will start. Children need to hear what you expect in pleasant tones and words. They can’t read your mind. Your attitude, your anticipation, your relaxed tones will also convey much of the message.

If your child has a regular time for a bowel movement, choose that time to go to the bathroom. If they have no regular time, try within 30 minutes after a meal. When the stomach is full, the colon is often stimulated to empty.

As we’ve said before, be prepared to sit with your child to keep him or her company. Don’t insist your child sit for more than a few minutes but only as long as he or she is comfortable.

At the same time, know that some children need to be alone to have a bowel movement. Bright bathroom lights and too much conversation may inhibit them from relaxing their sphincter muscles.

Praise your child for every bowel movement made in the potty or toilet. Also praise a child for even sitting and trying to go.

If your child will still be wearing disposable diapers at this point, you will be involved in getting them on and off. Keep masking tape on hand to refasten clean ones. In general, we don’t advocate keeping diapers on children who are learning to use the toilet. This just sends a mixed message, but in the event that is the route you chose, there you go!

It is not uncommon for boys to achieve bladder control before — sometimes long before — bowel control. Parents sometimes feel that a child with belated bowel control is unwilling, uncooperative, or just plain stubborn but that’s rarely the case. Again, patience is called for.

A reluctant-relaxer may require different approaches until you find one that works. Consider breaking the task into small, slow steps. Encourage a child to sit on and use the potty (or toilet) with clothes and a disposable diaper on to begin with. After a child is comfortable with this procedure, progress to going with only a disposable diaper sides ripped open.

Then you can move from sitting with a disposable diaper across the seat to just using toilet paper across it. Other children may be able to relax and void (just remove feces quickly with little fuss) while in a warm bath before making the transition to the potty chair or toilet. Or insist, that even using a diaper, a child stay in the bathroom when having a BM and then empty diaper into the toilet and flush.

Some parents prefer to begin toilet training in the winter or rainy months when it’s hard to get out of the house, but it might be easiest to begin toilet training in the summer, if this fits your schedule. Summer clothes are light and can be removed quickly. And when accidents do occur, you’ll have fewer layers of clothes to launder.

If possible, plan to devote at least three days in a row to begin bladder training and give your child your complete concentration. During those days you must be able to drop everything when a child has to go.

Tell your child that you expect to be told if there is a need to go.
The idea behind this is to let your child be in charge of as much of the toilet training process as possible.

Put your child on the toilet first thing in the morning, before naps, after naps, after meals, after being dry for two hours, and before bedtime. Initially a regular schedule can help with this process.

Keep them company while they’re trying to do their business. You can use this time for reading or just talking. Books about potties are appropriate selections to keep in the bathroom! But we’ve already said that, right?

Praise all progress. For some, sitting more than 10 seconds may be progress. Try turning the water on and letting it run for inspiration. Have you ever really had to go to the bathroom and heard running water making it difficult to hold your urine in? The same concept can apply when it comes to your child.

Running water can be a great way to inspire your child’s bowels to let go. Just don’t let it run forever. If they’re gonna go, they’re gonna go. If they’re not, they’re not. Know when to stop; otherwise, it becomes a game!

Offer more fluids when you are actively involved in training. The more a child drinks, the more a child will need to urinate and respond to body signals. Occasionally say to your child, “It’s time to try now.”

Set a timer to remind your child when it’s time to go potty rather than doing all the reminding yourself. Use the reminder as a “before” condition: “After you use the potty, we will …”

Consolidate success by maintaining the same routine for several weeks. Keep in mind that even children who have mastered the bathroom procedure may wet their pants during the day for several weeks or months.

If you have followed all reasonable steps for some time without success, stop! Try again in a few weeks or months.

Kids love to be read to, and they love watching videos – especially videos with favorite characters. Luckily, there are all sort of these on the market ready for you and your child to enjoy – together!

Potty Training Videos

Let’s face it: kids are just captivated by videos. So when it’s potty time in your household, it makes sense to show a video about potty training. You may find that once you introduce a video to them, they won’t be able to get enough of it – even after they’ve mastered the potty!

Potty training videos work because they show real-life children or animated characters using the potty. They may also feature catchy, sing-along tunes. This type of entertainment can improve learning and help your child make the transition from diapers to the potty more quickly.

Does your child love to watch the same videos over and over again? Little Conner does! At this point, his parents can pretty much recite dialogue word-for-word right along with Marlin and Dorie in “Finding Nemo” and have ceased to get surprised anymore when Oscar slays the sharks in “Shark Tale”.

But this actually isn’t a bad thing! The more children watch a video, the more they repeat the actions and words from it. Little Conner is constantly spouting lines from favorite movies. It naturally follows, then, that when children watch a video about potty training, they are more likely to put into practice those behaviors that will help them overcome this difficult milestone in their development.

Just make sure to step out of the way when your child runs to the bathroom and says, “I want to go potty!”

Here are a few suggestions for you to look for when finding potty videos for your child:

• Potty Power
• I Can Go Potty!
• Once Upon a Potty For Him
• Once Upon a Potty For Her
• Bear In The Big Blue House – Potty Time With Bear
• Winston’s Potty Chair
• Let’s Go Potty

Even though we are in the DVD age right now, some of these titles may only be available in VHS, so break out that old VCR and hook it up to your TV.

Potty Training Books

Most children are fascinated with the printed word – especially when those words are accompanied by colorful pictures. Most children also love to be read to. If this isn’t a regular part of your routine, you should really try to start.

The advantage to books over videos when potty training is that books can be read WHILE the child is sitting on the potty. Many, many adults like to read while “doing their business”, it only makes sense that your child would like to do the same. Even if they can’t read yet, they can look at the pictures while you read the words!

Following are some of the potty training books we’ve found to be especially helpful – and fun:

• Once Upon a Potty For Him
• Once Upon a Potty For Her
• Too Big For Diapers (featuring Sesame Street characters)
• The Potty Book for Boys
• The Potty Book for Girls
• A Potty for Me
• It’s Potty Time
• Toddler’s Potty Book
• What Do You Do With a Potty?
• My Potty Book
• Dora’s Potty Book (featuring Dora the Explorer)
• A Baby’s Got to Go (featuring The Rugrats)

Since we’re talking about tools that will help you during potty training, choosing the right potty chair can be a pretty big ordeal too!